San Francisco Bay Bridge closed after repair falls apart http://ow.ly/x0qh

America Is Now the Most Admired Country Globally, from 7th last year. http://ow.ly/t2Gk No thanks to "those" that want us to fail.

Rush Limbaugh In Bid For St. Louis Rams? http://ow.ly/t1SL If he buys the Rams, does he have to take the same drug tests as the players?

WTF: Is the Bible too liberal? Conservapedia's attempt to weed out "liberal bias" from modern Bible translations. http://ow.ly/t1mk

Know what that jackhammer needs? A SILENCER! One of you could make millions if you would invent that, so please start working on it, okay?

I think these left overs have been in my fridge for over a week. Good thing spaghetti never goes bad. Right!? RIGHT?

Republicans are independent thinkers who all come up with identical talking points. Because there told to & it's the "Truth".

Sir. Your beard is talking. Do...do you have lips in there? You're scaring me.

Having banana for lunch that is at least a foot long and as thick as my wrist. I'll have to put some Barry White on before I eat it.

My toast is like a phoenix rising from its ashes. It is reborn. As charcoal.

I didn't mind the spider-bite so much. It was the waking up encased in webbing with my innards liquefied & sucked out that I was not fond of

When you tell someone "Don't get smart with me", ...are you asking them to be stupid?

ARGH THERE IS TOO MUCH INTERNET. Movie, popcorn and snuggle time!

If surfing the internet eating cookies in my underwear on a Friday night makes me a loser, oh like you have room to judge.

What would Gandhi say? $23,000. Pen. Gold. In his name.

I was all excited to do my special swirl technique for him but he did it by himself and we're talking about baking cookies you sickos.

Ready for my cookie! What only sugar cookies?! Going home make our own.

Ok, His really 116lb. He made me post this. Still sitting this out.

I think he needs to sit this one out

You have to weigh at least 110 to give blood? Manuel barely makes it, with keys & change in pocket.

Manuel & I on the way to give/donate blood. Join us.

@RexHuppke If Obama was anything like Bush he'd have been on an aircraft carrier under a "Mission Accomplished" banner hours ago.

Now I feel bad, need 2 clean karma/do penance. How about donating blood tonight. Whoo, what a Friday night.

Two coughs one sneeze. His gone. The devil inside : )

I think Monk just sat next to me. Used 15 antiseptic pads on the park bench. I plan on coughing and sneezing a lot.

Congratulations to Rio. Here's where the "right" starts the "Failure of Obama" "He already had his plate full" "why" etc.

"If you tell a child a thousand times and they still do not get it, it is not the child that is the slow learner" posted on a teacher's wall

Saturn is being shut down by GM? First Pluto, and now this?!

Kiss to wake-up to. Coffee and eggs in bed. a little loving. Running shower. WHO DIED?!

When you experience something simple, your thoughts do not have to consider how to use it, so you are free to simply enjoy the experience.

Friend wouldn't stop quoting STAR WARS. While strangling him, his last words were "Please...stop!" is that from EMPIRE or JEDI?

My car keys unfollowed me.

Anyone have a Google Wave invite? Thanks

You know, I'm just gonna say it, sometimes I question the validity of these so-called 'fortune' cookies.

I've already been an asshole this morning. Good thing I got that out of the way!

There may be no rest for the wicked, but, I don't get much anyway. Tell me there's no coffee for the wicked, & I might get nervous.