Evgeni Plushenko awarded Gold medal for Crybaby of the 2010 Olympics. Congratulations, douche bag!

Could Facebook and Twitter use raise your insurance costs? http://ping.fm/5nvC3

Did you ever have one of those moments that you said....What did I get myself into?

Curling, Women's Ice Hockey: Oh yeah, NBC really knows what Olympics people want to watch. Do they get paid by how many dont watch?

There comes a day in everyone's life that they need to stop procrastinating and stop making excuses for everything That day is....tomorrow

I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.

Mock me now, but when I'm famous you'll all be eating Pez out of my head.

Look. Just tell me you love me and the postings will stop. ...I mean water boarding will stop. ...same difference

The only thing missing from my night is a raging case of insecurity and self-pity. No wait . . . yep, there it is. False alarm.

Why does it always have to be "he's addicted to drugs"? Why can't it be, "he's passionate about drugs".

WERE UNDER A CYBER ATTACK!! ?WHAT?? It's a GNN simulation? Whats GNN? oohh aahh. I'm going back to vegin'

MUST...NOT...EAT...COOKIES

Had a great time with friends snowboarding. Going to veg the rest of the night, starting.....NOW!

How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

Manuel is having cravings again 4 mango & capirotada-Mex bread pudding, feet hurt if standing too long.(sympathy pregnancy twin sis is preg)

Is it too late for me to get into politics? There are a couple of things I want to get away with.

Where is the Presidential Seal! (Las Vegas Feb, 19) It's a communist plot!! Wanted to beat the GOP 2 it. http://ping.fm/z6BP5

!!HAIL OUR NEW OVERLORDS!! Google to enter electricity trading business. http://ping.fm/EFhbX

Obama selling Harry Reid hard in Las Vegas. Give it up, that's a losing horse.

From our fearless leaders: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Speak No Evil. As followers, it's our job to Smell No Evil.

Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug. Today I'm behind the wheel. Run...RUN!

I never talk to myself, I never listen. What?

Things that make you go "Hmmm": Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?

I really need to hit the treadmill tonight after eating so poorly today and yesterday and the last...OKAY, all winter!

I would go back to an iPhone if there was an App that turns the iPhone into a taser. (AT&T sucks)

@tehawesome I bet for some people the scariest thing in the world is2gay Mexicans coming to America and taking all of our marriages and jobs

So is this the Tiger Woods press conference where he decides who gets the final rose? http://ping.fm/VWy1B

I would go back to an iPhone if there was an App that turns the iPhone into a taser. (AT&T sucks)

Senator Richard Shelby Blackmails Americans (get this piece of crap out of office) http://ping.fm/CgeZC

I'll gladly partake, but shouldn't we celebrate Hash Wednesday on 4 20?

After much contemplating, I have given up my belly button for lint.

Somebody should tell Sarah Palin that calling 'Family Guy' offensive is RETARDED. Yeah, I said it! If Rush can get away with it so can I.

Sugar crash. There are no survivors.

Don't judge a book by its movie.

Germany calls time out. Nail biter

Watching Olympics curling. USA vs GER. Yes, that exciting.

Had a 'black tie' dinner. Yep, that's it black tie. She looked very nice in 'pearls'.

Chocolate, whipped cream, strawberries. Too much of a good thing, & that was just for starters. Still have dinner. I thing I'm going to be..

Chinese New Year. Year of the Tiger (Woods?)

Ever had one of those awkward Valentine's evenings when you can't find the handcuff key? Nah, me neither.

It's not a disaster until someone sings about it

Sarah Palin reports seeing the Olympic torch from her house.

If Blackwater can do it, what Government office do I send my Valentines bill too?

A lump of coal has the same elements as a diamond, but try telling that to your girlfriend on Valentines Day.

Sometimes I worry about my short attention span, but not for long.

911 dog mugged for sweater-- stolen right off his back. http://ping.fm/xRuuK

O MY GOD! I'm not Mexican! Okay, I did the napkin thing once many yrs ago. http://ping.fm/FQZM9

Google Buzz team fixes privacy concerns. http://ping.fm/Kh7ID

"I beg to differ, officer. The law is no texting while driving. I was tweeting. So take your ticket and shove.....OW! DON'T TASE ME, BRO!"

I bet squirrels run into the road just to one up each others' near death stories.

Free CPR REMSA classes at Scheels Sparks, Nv Sat Feb 13 9am-2pm http://ping.fm/pYb4D

Waiting for plumber.

MTV drops 'Music Television' from the network logo. MTV hasn't been 'music' in how long? http://ping.fm/telUu

Have 2go2 bank, mortgage company screwing with account. Trying to cash check twice??

I was just deep in thought, I like it inside my head. It's quit in there.

I haven’t lost my mind. It’s backed up on tape somewhere

"Sarah Palin is catnip laced with crack..." Mark McKinnon

Serenity now! Serenity now!

2:50am Giving up on sleeping for now. Almost fell asleep around 1am.

I can't tell you what I'm doing ...pictures cost extra.

Got in a cleaning frenzy for the last 4 hrs. Just wanted to clean the stove.

Mt. Rose, five more inches of snow & more coming. It's going to be whiter than a Tiger Woods mistress convention.

Go out or Stay in..? Had a great day going to settle down to a quiet saturday night, movie or book?

Had a great time snowboarding. Need to warm up now.

How To Use a Public Toilet Without Picking Up a Disease. http://ping.fm/c9yzU

President Obama invites Rep. Senates to same kind Q&A. GOP Noooooo Thanks. http://ping.fm/kdY11

http://ping.fm/pSwoB

100 years old whisky bottles found at the bottom of the world. http://ping.fm/TKdgq

Working on my bad intentions since the road to hell is paved with good ones.

A wise man once said, Sorry honey I am wrong. (even thou he wasn't)

If a man says something and a woman isn't around to hear it, is he still wrong?

If my friends sends me just one more Farmville invite, I'm going to call PETA on them.

It's kind of hard to pat yourself on the back when your hands are nailed to the cross, Mom.

Urban Dictionary PROCRASTERBATING: The act of wasting time, or putting off other more important activities by masturbating. Thanks tosh.0

When I hear people sigh "Life is hard," I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"

18 Tricks To Teach Your Body http://ow.ly/12QAo

Coal company has the nerve to call itself 'Lorax' http://ping.fm/bhFYU

Eatin' that salad might have meant more if I wasn't eating this cheesecake now.

In Canada, public bathrooms are called washrooms. In the U.S., they're called restrooms. I think they should be called poopclosets.

"Roxxxy," the world's most sophisticated talking sex robot has a $7,000 price tag. The silent version is $57,900. http://ping.fm/rAHwz

3:50am I give up, I'm not sleeping tonight.

6yrs ago today. Janet Jackson, the nipple seen around the world. For a 1sec and a half over, and over, and over again, and again, and...

I wish I could take joy in the simple things like my dog does, but scooting your ass across the carpet is harder than it looks.

Echoing Josie. KiwiBurn, Pictures! Pictures! Pictures! Pictures!

Hey guys! I got fucked today! It was long. It was rough. It was dirty. It was Monday....Damn Mondays!

I have so many books I want to read. 40on my to read list, at the top is War&Peace but, its so long. I'll read it but some other in between