Have to remember NOT to drink while watching Tosh.O. Anybody have a napkin?

"Not tonight honey", I have been forewarned that I'm putting out tomorrow whether I like it or not.

I just found out my French bulldog is a Russian spy. Damn, those guys are GOOD.

Have u ever "Drunk emailed" or "Drunk Phoned"? How about "Drunk Trading" at a cost of £400m ($650 million). http://ping.fm/euwoz

Ahhh, playa dust. It sure sticks to everything.

Time 2 rummage through the )'( things & pick what 2take2 4th of Juplaya.

V For Vuvuzela! http://ping.fm/4Jr4h

Kiwi ...I mean drunk man walking... trying to walk. http://ping.fm/XE9fk

The land down under. http://ping.fm/f7aN7

A message from the Pope. http://ping.fm/8bsKm

World Cup is boring. http://ping.fm/B52Jg

Ronald McDonald, former rodeo clown, kept his promise. http://ping.fm/FOpls

If you've had your heartbroken: There are plenty of fish in the sea. But give mankind another chance first.

Dammit, Manuel wasn't able to get the 4th off work for 4th of Japlaya.

The new iPhone can blow me. There has to be an app for that.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse… http://ping.fm/W8Bzp

A little help from a friend. http://ping.fm/kbUhI

Smart product placement. http://ping.fm/6NL7q

How do we get oil? http://ping.fm/92NDC

Football vs Handegg. http://ow.ly/1ZCis

Full day ahead. Ready... Set... GO!

Nada Dada Motel tonight. http://ping.fm/XsLvO

I’m gonna live until I die! http://ping.fm/KQTe9

Deer attacks dog. http://ping.fm/uFJPU

http://joebartonwouldliketoapologize.com/

Annual BR Desert gathering is the ultimate display of free expression. http://ping.fm/RSPaA

BP wants oil spill lawsuits sent to Houston court. Why? The oil money goes there, most if not all of the Judges/courts get money form oil.

BP CEO dances around questions very nicely. He may have a job as an American politician.

GOP Joe Barton, R-Texas Apologizes to BP CEO for '$20 Billion Shakedown' http://ping.fm/bZ7yV
‎

How A WOMEN Decides To Go On A Date. http://ping.fm/fKhFq

How A MAN Decides To Go On A Date. http://ping.fm/kFZx0

Selective hearing? She keep saying "it's that time of the month" Translation: it's bj week!

FoxNews doesn't want Gov. to have control of the $$ because it will become "a slug fund, for Dem cronies" They talk from experience, Katrina

After watching BP news conference today, Do we need to once again increased the estimate of flow rate of bullshit being spewed out by BP?

@DalaiLama When our minds are clouded by hatred, selfishness, jealousy, and anger, we lose not only control but also our judgment.

How to get the girl. http://ping.fm/8eKwl

@PleaseRetweetMe "Always be the reason for someone happiness, never be just a part of it.

On my way 2 Megatropolis brainstorming meeting. Kiwi oil those gears I think I hear them turning, wait or are those mine? http://ping.fm/sh78z

Happy Potter Broomstick Loved By Girls Everywhere. http://ping.fm/SAuKi

Ozzy Scares His Fans. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY9PeJOZpeA

That was a good fish salad, I could have another one.

A bird covered in oil flails in the surf at East Grand Terre Island along the Louisiana coast. June 3, 2010. http://ping.fm/d2iJh

ow, ow whitewater kayaking ow, ow

The truth about alcoholism. http://ping.fm/APU83

The future of fast food. http://ow.ly/1Qu9p

ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION is not a new problem...Natives Americans use to call it WHITE PEOPLE. http://ping.fm/LNXMh

Moonwalking Pup. http://ping.fm/noG5u

It's easier than ever to reach a large audience, but harder than ever to really connect with them.

Let's play a game. Heads I win, tails you lose.

@BPGlobalPR Yes,our "spill" is a "trickle" and "hurricanes" are "drizzles". Hope it doesn't "drizzle" on our "trickle". That'd be a "pickle"

I just got a text from a friend who's not on the internet. I forgot I had those.

Baghdad BP Bob. http://ping.fm/uvK2h

15 Things you didn’t know about Steve Jobs. http://bitsandpieces.us/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/imagessteve-jobs_small.jpg

Oops, you dropped something. http://ping.fm/ViKuu

BP buys "oil spill" ad words. http://ping.fm/d83NR

Minitropolis is on the )'( 2010 THEME CAMPS & VILLAGES! http://ping.fm/yC1xc

The leak stops eventually, everyone forgets, back to business & it never happened till, yrs later ..."how the hell did this happen?" again.

love and serve apple

Oil spill sea turtles just can't catch a break. http://ping.fm/e6ASV

How the brain works during an argument. http://ping.fm/4yO0D

"It's not about trying to change the world, it's about trying to not be changed by it."

I Love Life!

The Pesky Fly. http://ping.fm/hjl9z

Facebook a Cult? http://ping.fm/OhuKH

Manuel just got a short hair cut. What the hell I'm I going to pull on now? Jane thinks he looks even younger. Noooooo!

oh-oh post office closed at 1pm closed sunday.

Having a hell of a good day, but have to go2 the post office. Then back 2 the fun.

Was going to the gym this morning swim a mile, run 5 miles, do rep after rep. Then I remembered I have Photoshop. Muscle suit in order.

Cats vs Dogs. http://ping.fm/MfqJR

Dont bust my mellow

??I'm I a 'lefty' or a 'righty'?? Had to till her, I liked both your breasts.

"But, officer I had only one cup" http://ping.fm/ac8pw

Why do people finally give u the info u asked for weeks ago when u cant do anything about it?

Botox makes it that much easier for people to lie to you with a straight face.

StaggeReno Downtown/Bar Scavenger Hunt. Sat, June 5th 3-7pm http://staggereno.com

From the looks of that woman's hair, there isn't a can of shellac left in town.

)'( Costume Exchange. Prism Magic Clothing. Sat. 9-6 June5 2161 Pyramid Way Sparks, NV 775-356-5577 *www.prismmagic.com

Having a great time dirt biking. Have to stop smiling so much. Dirt loses its flavor after a while.

Dear TeaBaggers: Don't wear a seat belt today. You'll be fine.

Under New Management. http://ping.fm/YOAmb

"till death do us part" I don't know about u but, sounds like a RED FLAG to me.

Bush still proud of waterboarding, and taking us to war with. http://ping.fm/Fcohj

BP new "sorry" ad. http://ping.fm/epe3Y

What ever happened to Natural selection?

Stupid people need padded lampposts. Cant we just give them padded helmets? http://ping.fm/PQnDh

Stupid woman sues Google over maps. http://ping.fm/4Ptc7

We Didn’t Start The Fire 2010. http://ping.fm/Wzo6i

Smoking section. http://ping.fm/4ieE5

One man's porn is another man's...well, porn, really. It's pretty much all porn for us.

Pay this, pay that, need this... Have to start selling myself to earn money. Talking about my plasma, of course. I give the other stuff away

BP + OIL SPILL + SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS = THIS! http://ping.fm/TdW8q

The term "FOX news" is like "fools gold". It's not really gold. Unless you want to sell to fools.

Friend living in Arizona: "Cops stopped me on the way home. I've never been happier to be a white male."

Michael Brown thinks a conspiracy is afoot. Yes "heckuva job""Brownie" managing the federal response to Katrina per Bush http://ow.ly/1RQiy

Redneck rotisserie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSU9f-ztkBM&feature=player_embedded

I hate when flinging a booger across the room backfires.

WHAT IS: a) clueless b) quitter c) I'll do anything for a buck d) all of the above
ANSWER: Sarah Palin

News Flash! Water spotted in the gulf.

L.A. County boycott of Arizona approved by divided Board of Supervisors.

Al-Qaida's Number 3 killed in Pakistan. How long before GOP tills us it was 1 No big deal 2 It was an meteorite that killed him 3 Ignore it

Al Gore and Tipper announce split. Who gets custody of the Internet? http://ping.fm/diK6I

Horrific oil spill, hurricane behind it, economic collapse, giant sink hole. To all the girls who told me, "last guy on Earth", I'm ready.

Giant Sinkhole Swallows Guatemala Homes http://ping.fm/pJfm9

My Niece reported to bootcamp this morning, and continues the family tradition of serving our our country.

The disaster could thaw relations between the U.S. and Cuba. http://ow.ly/1RQaJ