My super power is smiling and nodding and pretending that I get it when I'm not sure, don't understand or don't care.

Bite the tip... Spit it out... You're not sucking hard enough... Cigars people, cigars!

Going to the Somersett Country Club for drinks. Have to remember to hold my nose a little higher and my jaw a little tighter.

Why some men prefer dogs over women: Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

Asian language guide. http://ping.fm/i2iZ1

Spill, Baby, Spill! http://ping.fm/edaXs

Spill, Baby, Spill http://ping.fm/x6c1A

Why some men prefer dogs over women: Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

One of these dogs is stoned. http://ping.fm/zgpna

Some want to boycott "Arizona Iced Tea" now. Ah, Its mad in New York. I guess anything with the word "Arizona" watch out.

Why some men prefer dogs over women: If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

No iPad For You! Apple Bans Man From Ever Buying Another iPad For LIFE! http://www.cnbc.com/id/36786176

From accident insurance claim forms: “A truck backed though my windshield and into my wife’s face.”

Just started to rain

How to Opt Out of Facebook's Instant Personalization. http://w2.eff.org/deeplinks/2010/04/how-opt-out-facebook-s-instant-personalization/

Wind picking up.

Why some men prefer dogs over women: A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

Crayola thanks the Tea Partiers. http://ping.fm/EinFs

Awesome illusion http://ping.fm/ySk4J

7,500 Online Shoppers Unknowingly Sold Their Souls. http://ow.ly/1DstT

The High Five Etiquette. Get it right. http://ping.fm/TMrfn

Analog Chat Room. http://ping.fm/p2EVd

Sleeped in late. What a ntce day. Spa, pool, hike? what 2do, what 2do?

Why some men prefer dogs over women: A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, ‘If I died, would you get another dog?’

When Life Gives You Crap. http://ow.ly/1yPQd

Bring toothpast

Just checked in at the Atlantis, free rm 2night. Buffet here we come! Diet starts tomorrow...tomorrow...tomorrow....

Why some men prefer dogs over women: Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

Dance. Dance. Dance!!!

Hmmm... these weren't skinny jeans when I bought them :(

My mouth tastes like poor choices

Why some men prefer dogs over women: Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

Beer Run. http://ping.fm/4xL1A

Why some men prefer dogs over women: The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you

My Little Slice Of Paradise. http://ow.ly/1yPHl

It’s all about the Benjamins. The US government’s Hollywood-style unveiling of the new $100 bill. http://ping.fm/8dxNA

Show your boobs in the name of science. Here’s a movement I could get behind, In front of, in between of... http://ping.fm/2T61X

15 Things You Didn't Know About The Simpsons. http://ow.ly/1yPCc

Made it home! Rain when I started 5mi later WHITE OUT for the next 25mi. That was a white knuckle White Out. Cant see the side of the road.

3rd Place at What??? http://ow.ly/1yPwB

Grand reopening today. Long stem roses from customer.

Office Keyboard. http://ow.ly/1yPtm

A long day but I think were done

Friend took me to lunch Quiznos, Cheap bastards ;)

At friends store hanging stuff. Grand opening Tue

How the system works. http://ow.ly/1yPj6

Hey Look! ö <--- It's Your Mom warming up for a date.

I have a brilliant idea which I think is unique in history: If you have a problem with someone, talk TO them, not ABOUT them. That is all.

From accident ins. claim forms: “I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.”

The difference between this waffle house & a crack house is that someone at the crack house would have asked me what I wanted by now

Things that make you go "Hmmm": Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Going to help friends with their store set-up after remodeling/expansion. Grand reopening Monday!

Douche Dept. http://ow.ly/1yP7J

When They're Not Pitching Their Products...
http://ping.fm/ZO7x8

Next stop DMV

At dog park

Word Of The Day: TEAHADIST As in Sarah Palin is a teahadist. http://ow.ly/1yFTF

It's true. I shower naked.

I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning!
good morning, WORLD!

Manuel called from the airport in Arizona. His coming home.

Tortoise Has Dogs Back. http://ow.ly/1yAWs

'Pig Book'. Cochran Leads Congress in Earmarks, $16.5B Total Set Aside for Pet Projects in 2010. http://ping.fm/ahLhI

Sex In The Medicine Cabinet. http://ow.ly/1xJhE

Military Air Drop Bloopers. http://ow.ly/1yc0U

Have A Nice Day. http://ping.fm/4MA4P

How do you know when you're beyond therapy?

Pulitzer Winner Mark Fiore. http://www.youtube.com/user/markfiore#p/u/13/v6Gs426XrW4

Word Of The Day: Paliban http://ping.fm/GSBzH

I don't care what my brother says, I'm pretty sure I would win a fight against a paper bag.

Having lunch with brother

Conan O'Brien's Move To TBS http://ping.fm/YT5wY