Celebrities don't fascinate me as much as....okay, celebrities don't fascinate me period. I have my own life.

The Banned Doonesbury Abortion Cartoon: Part 5. More of Trudeau's canceled week. banned by many papers http://ping.fm/tKMdf

If your face is not a coloring book, you may want to take it easy on the makeup.

Good sex is like a good book. It holds your interest with surprises, thrills & humor. And those who deserve it always get it Hard.

I don't think it's by accident that the ceilings in trailer homes aren't high enough to hang yourself from.

Finished TNG Red Sector: Double Helix bk3 yesterday 2 out of 5 stars. Started Bush at war by Bob Woodward

It's a nice day, taking my reading outside by the lake.

Sometimes, it's thinking about no one but yourself that is the most human thing of all.

I am starting to think you are a liar and that my webcam is not a suitable way for you to check me for testicular cancer. Are you even doctors?

Super Soakers need to be taken off the market their DANGERS, when filled with gasoline.

If you never jumped from one couch to another to save yourself from the lava, then you didn't have a childhood. JUMPLAVA!

Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit back down. Can’t face me? Turn around.

You know your late 2the party when... uc someone trying to unlock the closet door with a quarter. (its not locked)

When a cop pulls you over for speeding and he asks you if you know how fast you were going, don't say obviously not fast enough..

Kid sitting. Should I use anti-bacterial hand gel, or is just spraying them in the face with Lysol enough?

Many GOPs words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

Justin Bieber is 18 and I still wouldn't fuck him.