Loud White Trash drama somewhere in the neighborhood.

Think about it. Whatever is in Mitt's tax returns is more damaging than picking a running mate who voted with Bush and Cheney on everything.

Mitt Romney's plan is working. We're talking about Paul Ryan not his taxes. Must have been a magician in another life.

Playing in the rain!
That was nice.

Democrats picked Paul Ryan for Mitt Romney/GOP!

I had this dream where the VP nominee was... what? not a dream? Oh..

Urgent Care here we come. Elderly neighbor fell down taking her to urgent care. Not too serious, gash on leg may need 1 or 2 stitches

Michele Bachmann For Vice-President! (The jokes would write themselves)

What a great night!

Homemade Chick-Fil-A Sandwiches recipe. http://ping.fm/AvaES

Test 1

"Impossible Is Not a Fact. It's an Opinion."

That real life stuff...all a bunch of crap, give me my fantasy life back, please...?

http://ping.fm/9rCiZ

Mondays: Today seems to have come in the form of a suppository.

All my thoughts are random...

Fart powered rocket patented. Can I have some mexican food please. http://ping.fm/xAa3L

I don't know who thought it was a good idea to get up before noon on weekends, but I'm gonna hunt them down and kill their coffee.

It’s amazing how big a person’s eyes will get when you run up to them with a stick and yell Piñata!

This playground is bullshit. All the Moms are ugly.

Yesterday three people told me how nice I am. Today my goal is to fix that shit.

Haha! Can you believe there are losers getting laid right now while the cool people post about it?

Newt Gingrich is literally one marriage and a drug bust from being Rush Limbaugh.

If Men are from Mars & Women form Venus we need stricter immigration policies

Great never-before-seen photos of New York from 100 years ago. http://ping.fm/utA5k

You should be able to eat as much free candy as you want while the cashier is changing the receipt printer paper.

Most men don't care if you swallow. Like everything else, they're just happy they don't have to clean it up.

Movie night, Alexander Revisited

Stoners seem like they're not too bright.
But ask them about weed and they turn into a walking Wikipedia.

4/20, what is that?

Celebrities don't fascinate me as much as....okay, celebrities don't fascinate me period. I have my own life.

The Banned Doonesbury Abortion Cartoon: Part 5. More of Trudeau's canceled week. banned by many papers http://ping.fm/tKMdf

If your face is not a coloring book, you may want to take it easy on the makeup.

Good sex is like a good book. It holds your interest with surprises, thrills & humor. And those who deserve it always get it Hard.

I don't think it's by accident that the ceilings in trailer homes aren't high enough to hang yourself from.

Finished TNG Red Sector: Double Helix bk3 yesterday 2 out of 5 stars. Started Bush at war by Bob Woodward

It's a nice day, taking my reading outside by the lake.

Sometimes, it's thinking about no one but yourself that is the most human thing of all.

I am starting to think you are a liar and that my webcam is not a suitable way for you to check me for testicular cancer. Are you even doctors?

Super Soakers need to be taken off the market their DANGERS, when filled with gasoline.

If you never jumped from one couch to another to save yourself from the lava, then you didn't have a childhood. JUMPLAVA!

Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit back down. Can’t face me? Turn around.

You know your late 2the party when... uc someone trying to unlock the closet door with a quarter. (its not locked)

When a cop pulls you over for speeding and he asks you if you know how fast you were going, don't say obviously not fast enough..

Kid sitting. Should I use anti-bacterial hand gel, or is just spraying them in the face with Lysol enough?

Many GOPs words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

Justin Bieber is 18 and I still wouldn't fuck him.

In this wind just getting to the car is a two person job, here we go.

Just finished Infection TNG: Double Helix Bk1of6. Give it a 3 out of 5. A quick read.

Its a white Monday.

Just finished reading "Double Dexter". I enjoyed it 3.5 out of 5 stars

Love is... sitting through the Oscars. *help*

Finally rooted my DroidX, removing all crapware and bloatware. Love it!

If we don't build that fence, how are we going to stop gorgeous Mexican boys from blowing our. Republican Arizonian Sheriffs.

If it wasn't for them sitting down Id think I watch this debate 19 times already.

Romney just said "Bush" I have to take a drink. What are the odds?

Santorum offers Ron Paul 2 let him touch him. HE MUST BE GAY!

GOP + Thunderdome ?
Three men inter... no man leaves

When I see someone in public talking on a bluetooth. I like stand next to them, lean in & whisper "It's ok I see them too"

Hope I'm not coming down with something. Getting the chills all of a suddenly.

Hello. Hellooo! YOU POCKET DIALED ME! HELLLOOO!

Happy Bday Zelda 26yrs old today!

February 21st is National Sticky Bun Day. Going into sugar shock.

Hello. Hello... I'm In Your Pocket... HELLO!

Pro-Hummer!

Arizona Sheriff Paul Babeu : About 100% of closeted gay hypocrites are registered Republicans.

Don't let this happen to you. Let me know if I can help ;)
Aphallatosis is a mental disorder resulting from a LACK of a sex life.

You can poke someones eye out with that.

All my thoughts are random...

Thank you Sheldon Adelson. Let the Circus continue.

Reality show idea: GOP presidential canidates Cage Match fight! I'd pay to see that.

I'm only an organ donor because I like the thought of somebody wanting me just for my amazing body.

At some point, Americans decided that HAVING stuff was better than MAKING stuff. http://ping.fm/4Pxub

Now i"m waiting for my steak. http://ping.fm/KISiS

Love: a temporary insanity, killed by marriage.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.

If you love something set it free, but give it enough of a head start before you run it down and kill it.

If you're not getting what you need from your relationship it may be time for drastic measures, like asking for what you need.

If your Valentine has a heart of GOLD. I think now's the perfect time to trade it in for cash.

Happy Valentine's Day! Have u had your Blow Job Today!

Handing out bows & arrows randomly to babes...It is Valentine's Day after all. Do Your Part!

Sending flowers to your significant other at work is a great way to tell all their coworkers that you used to have $70.

Bluetooth vs. WIFI
http://ping.fm/HPOUd

Looking for a person who will go around with me and hand out Valentine's Day cards to random people that say "BE OURS". lol

Like many Americans on Valentine's Day, Republicans are going to spend the day settling on someone they don't love. http://ping.fm/QAP2s

Finished reading "Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep" Plot used for the 1982 film "Blade Runner". Give it 4.5 out of 5.

Tomorrow is Valentine's day. Starting the celebrations with a romantic lunch today. Share the love!

When you pee in your dream, you pee for real. This kind of a "wetdream" I don't like.

I'm jealous of anyone with a low tolerance to drugs.

Ready...Set...Slide!

Clearly, the people who want a Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage know that the Constitution as it is allows gays to marry.

Do dogs consider us a) their best friends b) just the dumbasses that give'm a place to crash and free food.

"Sword playing"!

For a good time call Domino's for some stuffed cheesy bread you can suck the innards out of like a 5 dollar hooker.

They say to dress for the job you want, but no one's willing to pay me to be a lazy beach bum.

I think about u naked all the time...

How many Daddy issues are you hiding under all that eyeliner?

SAME kitchen table + MORE friends = GoodER times!

Kitchen table + good friends = Good Times!

There's a rumor going around here that I'm starting. Shh, pass it on.

It should be illegal to be outgoing before 8am.

Okay, I'm DVRing the Puppy Bowl. Nobody tell me/post what happens, PLEASE.

No plans for tonight? Here's a guide to throwing a last-minute Super Bowl party: http://ping.fm/NyVOo

Today, February 5th is International Kissing Day.
Kisses for all and some of you wet ones.

I like "Read In Bed Day" or as some of you know it as Sunday!

The ONE talking point Obama-haters like Santelli came up with to knock yesterday's jobs report is false. http://ping.fm/2jJfd

Workout? http://ow.ly/8dFbP

Forgiveness does not force reconciliation. If someone is continually hurting you and will not change their ways, bless them and let them go.

Romney's tax plan really does favor the rich. http://ping.fm/75gaD

Applause! Applause! Newt Gingrich uses the word immoral without everyone around him bursting into laughter is a tribute to his camp.

The Romney folks REALLY hate it when you point people to the RomneyCare Death Panel statute, which is Section 41 here: http://is.gd/6039Ze http://ping.fm/FhbBC

If time is money, I'm filthy rich.

This morning I decided to reflect upon all the great things that have happened to me lately. Those 5 seconds were awesome.

You just got pancake batter on my bacon.

Next book on my reading list. "The Politically Incorrect Guide to the Constitution by" Kevin R. C. Gutzman

Just finished reading Zero Day by David Baldacci. 3 out of 5 stars

Random thoughts: Why do i have too take a piss as soon as i wake up?

Werent we suppose to have flying cars by now?

Things that make you go hmmm. Electric bath duck? http://ping.fm/URdxO

Federal Judge Finds Same-Sex Long-Term Care Ban Unconstitutional. http://ping.fm/77xvU

George W. Bush believes Jesus told him the Iraq War was a good idea. http://ping.fm/X9mFF

Mitt: I want to talk about Obama not about Ron Paul.

GOP Debate: is there a person standing asking the audience for applause?

Romney just lied. There is a government plan in Massachusetts and it covers abortion.

The biggest problem with rich people, is they don't ever have enough money. I maybe right I may be wrong?

I love this line "Ben Laden is dead and General Motors is alive."

Snowing at the hostel.

@WhatTheFFacts: Adults who have high IQs are more likely to use illegal drugs than those who have low IQs.

Attack of the cat

BEAR: "Don't post this I'll be the laughing stock of the cat chasing society."

Sunday 12:30p back in a warm bed with a good book. Bed big enough for 2 bring your book.

What the fuck has Obama done so far. http://ping.fm/2Pypu

Sunday morning news: GOP candidate's handout hypocrisy. (Okay not news happens every day)

BREAKING: Mitt Romney calls on Newt Gingrich to release all his remaining ex-wives.

"Your Reagan was okay but your Reaganites are so unlike your Reagan."

If she doesn't buy waterproof mascara and eyeliner, she's not serious about giving blowjobs.

Relax this won't hurt a bit
; )

"Most people on food stamps are white and there would be no food stamp program without Bob Dole." Lawrence O'Donnell.

@WhatTheFFacts: The average cell phone contains more bacteria than a toilet seat!

FLASHBACK: Ronald Reagan Raises Capital Gains Taxes. http://ping.fm/MXgF0

Ron Paul fans force CNN to remember he exsist

Ronald Reagan also socialized medicine in this country by making it against the law for emergency rooms to turn anyone away.

Fun Fact: The only President who ever gave undocumented workers amnesty was St. Ronald Reagan I.

Mitt Romney: I won't deport 22 million Americans but I will make them leave.

Question 2 Newt Gingrich "What one thing would you do different in the campaign? Newt Thinking: ONLY ONE THING?

Waiting for the debates talent competition

RP: Brilliant, So Mitt Romney didn't win Iowa? Wow. Even his victories Flip Flop.

Auto-eroticism, I'm confused what part of the car one has sex with??

I Told You It Wasn't My Fault! @WTFuckFacts: A frotteur is a person who becomes sexually excited by rubbing against strangers.

Next debate on the 26th, I think it's gonna be a good one.

I want Romney on my Dodgeball team because he knows how to dodge (the question).

Watching GOP debate. Go Sarah Palin!!
WHAT! She's not running?
But the jokes. All the wasted jokes:(

Finished reading Blackwater: The Rise of the World's Most Powerful Mercenary Army. Pissed me off give it a 4 out of 5 stars

My death coach helped me bury my life coach.

My life-coach just handed me a rope.

Thanks, Jesus, For This Food. http://ping.fm/HQQy0

Anybody need help with their wrinkles? RP @WTFuckFacts: When semen is left to dry on skin, the protein left behind can help reduce wrinkles.

RP @WTFuckFacts: Facebook is linked to one out of every five DIVORCES in the United States!

RP @brittjohnson91: Havent heard so much talk about a white Bronco since OJ Simpson trial. #Tebow

RP @WTFuckFacts: Lip stick was supposedly made in the Egypt for women that specialized in oral sex. They wanted their lips to look inviting.

Here's your excuse. @WTFuckFacts: When you chew and talk, it cleans your ears.

Reading Blackwater: The Rise of the World's Most Powerful Mercenary Army, Is pissing me off. Read 1 or 2 chapters before I have to put it down.

On my way to recover IAM trailers, had strong winds. Thanks Charlie

January is National Jump Out of Bed Month.

Halfway through "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter". Not grabbing my interest will speed read though rest just to get 2end.

"Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter". It sounds intriguing or "The grapes of wrath" ?

What should I read next?

Stephen King 11.22.63. Deferent twist on time travel. Give it a 4 out of 5 stars. http://ping.fm/6PPdR

Nomophobia - the fear of losing ur cell phone.

400,000,000 people have sex a day. 4,000 people are doing it right NOW! How many are doing it while reading this?

Are you one of the 47% of people that drink straight from the carton when nobody else is around?

RP: #ThingsThatDontGoTogether Tiger Woods & black women. He likes his women like his golf balls, cheap, white, and easy to hit...

Take to the streets, take to the net! Be the change you want to see in the world. Today take the opportunity to tell someone about it.

New Years resolutions, read more classical novels/books. Starting with Of Mice And Men

Celebrated my inner child last night by playing Duck, Duck, Duck, Grey Goose.