Excu--Excuse me Officer, do you party?

Top ten rules of boozing. http://ow.ly/8dFaW

Just finished reading the Hunger Games trilogy. Movie coming in March.

Playing Angry Birds!! Ok, ok Throwing chicken fingers at kids. SAME DIFFERENCE!?

Accidents happen. http://ow.ly/8dFcL

I blame seat belt & helmet laws for all the stupid people I encounter.

Calling someone stupid doesn't make u any smarter. That being said....

What... Tomorrow...already? Talk later 2 the Mall!!

Coffee Owl. http://ping.fm/JOXjG

Kids only like Christmas so much because they're not the ones who have to pay for it.

Karl Rove Payroll tax on fox news: "We have to find a way to declare victory." Win at any cost!?

White House asks: What does $40 per paycheck mean for you and your family? #40dollars

Three player chess board. I like! http://ping.fm/FV4M6

Sometimes you're the zipper, sometimes you're the nutsack. Today I'm the......

Words we still use that now make no sense:
“Dial “ a phone
“Don’t touch that dial”
Kodak Moments
Pen Pals
Records
Please be kind “Rewind”

Bike Lane. http://ow.ly/83fiW

How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?
……There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.

Close Encounters of the Redneck Kind. http://ping.fm/d7bz6

Having angel hair spaghetti. Do angels eat human hair pasta?

Newt Ginrich "Frankly, on every issue of his day, Scrooge was fundamentally correct." Bah, Humbug!

Defense measure still include indefinite detention of Americans on American soil?

Your fired! Trump fired from GOP debate.

Gilligan’s Island Home Movies. http://ping.fm/nc4Y1

Heavy Metal Holiday House. http://ping.fm/kqeRP

Save the best part of yourself, for yourself.

Sister Myotis on Thongs – Halleluja! Amen! http://ping.fm/QnVUN

You are an internet addict if …
1. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
2. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

One of these is a convicted felon. http://ow.ly/7UYmc

Its Friday Night!! Do you know where your "kids" are?

"Here's your armor. It doesn't stop anything now, but we're working on it." -New Stormtrooper Orientation

Trying 2 make a break for it.

Best backyard fire no 1 saw.

♬ burning down the house♬ almost.

Dogs walk on water!

If at first you don’t succeed, politics IS for you.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Taking turns keeping kittens warm.

Hating the hater makes you a hater also. Let the hating begin.

TIME Magazine names Occupy Wall Street the top US news story of 2011 http://ping.fm/wYnC6 #ows

You're allowed to have your opinion as long as you realize I'm allowed to disagree with it.

Dear Santa:
I only have one wish this year. Please give the GOP a brain.

I think that at this point it'd probably be easiest just to fake my own death and start over.

I'm beginning to see the dark at the start of the tunnel.

99%ers art: http://occuprint.org

Today, I'm declaring War against Gravity. Please pull for me.

All I want for Christmas is a bell so I can make lots of money like the man outside Wal-mart.

Guy with a $20 bill sticking out of his fly. Pretty smart of him trying to capitalize on the fact that women can't resist blowing money.

Women: The only flaw with the perfect man is that he has no need of a wife.

I miss Herman Cain already. The joke pool dwindling.

RP: "We were told all igloos must be permitted" http://ping.fm/INE3N #OccupyAnchorage #ows

RP: List of ASSHOLE Senators who voted YES on the bill legalizing the detention of Americans without trial. http://ping.fm/oSKsy

"Mic Check!!"

Who wants kittens in 8 weeks or there appetizers. (Licking chops)

Hageys cat is a slut 5 more kittens.

Every time a Celine Dion song plays, an angel gets shot...TWICE!

According to her nipples, it is really fucking cold in here right now.

Apparently "never being able to forgive myself" was easier than I had thought.

I'm so bipolar, I love hating myself.

I love you. I hate you. I Love You. I Hate You.....